Cool to wear…but I damn sure ain’t making another one

Let me start off by saying that I am NOTHING CLOSE to a tailor. I can barely sew patches onto my uniforms. On top of that, only one set of Battle Dress Uniform (BDUs) was completely obliterated in this project.

At least 5 days after I started, I for the most part have myself a kilt.

“OH, Dad, you’re making a MANSKIRT!!!” My darling daughter announced to the whole damn house as soon as I laid out everything on my bedroom floor. She has been corrected several times, and she still calls it that.  Damn kids.

I’m not sure what the ruling is at my job about wearing one. I’m quite sure that after I get asked the standard question of “what is on under that?”, I’ll be told to go put on some pants (don’t want the nice darling hooligans learning about male specific cancers, now).

Now, when I get asked (and I’m quite sure I will), I’ll not only reply with “nothing’s WORN under my kilt—everything is in perfect working order”, but I will also steal @theHappyMedic’s line and follow up quickly with a 1 in 6 chance of a disease that will kill over 33,000 men in a year.

With this knowledge, a couple of heavy hitters in the blogosphere, the aforementioned Happy Medic and his soul crushing friend @motorcop came up with an idea to raise awareness of the male related cancers during September…#kiltedtokickcancer. (By the way, September is actually prostate cancer awareness month…perfect timing.) They took their idea to the fine folks at Magnum Boots and alt.kilt, which was replied with a resounding “Boo-to-da-yeah”.

When they announced it, I said that someone from THIS HQ was going to also sport a kilt, but an ACU kilt at EMS World Expo. That idea was shot down after I started slicing and dicing an old set of BDUs for the project.

Considering that just some little old lady from Pokipsee reads my blog, if by chance some guys my age (30 1/2 + a couple) happens to read this scrawling, do yourself (and your family) a favor…get you ass to the doctor and get checked. Remember that 1 in 6 chance? Yeah, that should be enough motivation right there.

I know when we’re in the station, the barracks, the PX, the ambo, we make jokes about it, calling it “ass cancer” or “ball cancer”. This is no laughing matter.

Guys, if you don’t have the balls to sport a kilt for the month (whether it’s one that you bought or a home made one like mine (and mine’s UGLY)), do yourself the favor, all right?

I’ll post pictures as I get a few taken…right now, I have some hemming and trimming to do.

How long until I get my retirement orders?

“Welcome all to the A co, 801st Combat Support Hospital
keep this professional”

That’s the statement that welcomes the handful of folks that belong to the group for my unit’s Emergency Room EMT section on Facebook.

This statement was made by a nurse that is running the show since “Mom” got mobilized.

It’s a page for a unit, I get that. Normally when it comes to something like this, I’m completely professional—especially since I became the senior medic for the entire company until either some folks come back home or until I retire, whichever comes first.

Don’t worry, kids, my retirement will be AFTER Expo.

Now, being the senior medic (along with the trainer), one of the things I need to know is whether or not the certifications for my folks is up to date. That’s sort of an important thing. Ranks right up there with eating, sleeping, and coffee…just has to be done. I don’t use any spreadsheets or fancy programs to do it, but I make sure it gets done.

That brings us to last night…

Well, I'm asking everyone in the EMT section to bring some documents to drill, including a copy of their certifications relevant to their job, and a copy of their license, and a copy of the MEDPROS

John Broyles DET has documentation c “DAD”

I let the nurse know that my detachment has their documentation with our “Dad” (also known as the full time Training NCO).

Now this brought a reply stating that my Detachment’s information is outdated. I know better because I take care of my 30 medics.

Then this came along…

Bring it or I'll have <”Mom”> take you out on the range

That followed by a “LOL”.

I saw that and just sat in my seat, blood beginning to well up to shoot from my eye sockets. I had (in my opinion) just been threatened by a nurse.

My only reply was: “ o_o “

I ask any of the fine folks on the po-po side of the equation (read @motorcop1 ) was I right to perceive this as a threat or was she “joking”.

Remember what the opening statement of this entry (and the particular facebook page) said…”keep this professional”.

Um, yeah, it’s looking anything but that.

My retirement orders can’t get here fast enough.

Happy Independence Day

From 1-U-801 HQ

A message from the Army Reserve…

Two hundred thirty-five years ago one of history's greatest adventures began when a small band of patriots in Philadelphia resolved to stake their all--their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor--for freedom and independence. On that day America was born and our country has been an inspiration for free men and women around the world ever since.

Today we remember not only the day our country was born, but we also remember the indomitable spirit of the first American citizens who made that day possible. We remember how a small band of patriots declared independence from a powerful empire; and formed, in the new world, what the old world had never known-a government of the people, by the people, and for the people.

It is that unyielding spirit which defined us then and continues to define us now. It is what led generations of pioneers to blaze a westward trail and extend the American experience; to persevere through internal strife and form a perfect union; to face an economic depression with vim and emerge victoriously; and to triumph in the face of tyranny from evil doers who attempt to suppress the inalienable rights to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness from a sovereign populace. It, too, is what has always led us, as a people, not to wilt or cower at a difficult moment, but to face down any trial and rise to any challenge.

Across America as Family and friends gather to celebrate the freedoms we all enjoy, remember those, some far from home, who make this patriotic holiday possible. This is our opportunity to focus on our Families and appreciate their sacrifices and contributions to the liberties we hold so dear.

For those of you who are deployed and who continue to take the fight to the enemy in the high plains of Afghanistan or the deserts of Iraq, know that what you are doing in defense of this great Nation is in keeping with the spirit of Independence Day and America's military services. For those who are on the home front, your vigilance, courage and sacrifice provide us the opportunity to live in a free society and serve notice to terrorists and those who threaten the vision of our Nation's founders.

So, on this special day, the birthday of our country, in the midst of all the joyous celebrations, let us take a moment to remember the debt of thanks we owe to those who came before us and to the spirit of faith and patriotism which still makes America "the land of the free and the home of the brave."

Thank you, God bless you, and may God always bless America.

Thank you 1SG Willie J. Moss (1942 (?)-1992)

Hey, Top

It’s been a great number of years since I saw you last. I think I was TDY at Anniston Army Depot in AL the last time our paths crossed. I never got the chance now that I’m an NCO to really thank you for what you taught me without even knowing it.

I remember there have been a few times that we’ve talked face to face (with your desk separating us) with not really the best of circumstances causing the meeting. I guess that was part of you teaching me that I am human and I am going to make mistakes—some of pretty good magnitude (I honestly didn’t know that was your truck, 1SG).

I remember the afternoon when you had all of the platoon sergeants down in the leaning rest in front of your office. While chewing them a good one you caught me watching and asking what the hell I was doing. I still remember my answer. “I’m learning that if you’re going to have a bunch of us junior enlisted (we were called lower back then) in the front leaning rest for screwing up, I know now that you’re going to do the same to senior NCOs.”

I also learned that there’s a time to pop the stripes off the collar and just enjoy yourself. I’ve seen it quite a few times at the Gasthaus at Ft. Eustis, and do it a bit myself.

Top, you were the one that basically inspired me to try to get that diamond. It took me 2 OCONUS deployments and a couple of CONUS mobilizations, and if it wasn’t for that damn PT test, I’d probably be running my own ambulance company right now.

I’ve grown a little, Top. I went from being the best forklift operator that the 119th ever had (that kid only beat me by 6 seconds on the course) to being a damn fine medic—with a little bit of grease monkey and recruiter thrown in for good measure.

I ended up being a platoon sergeant for about 3 years right after my 1st Reserve mobilization. I enjoyed it but ex-wife #2 hated the fact that even in the Reserve, it’s a 24/7/365 job. After the 2nd, I ended up being the lead trainer for my unit.

I know that in the time since we last crossed paths and I rendered you your final salute, there has been a “Yoda” to fill in the “Obi-Wan” role you took. Now, I look forward to retirement and hoping that I trained my replacement to take what he was taught and run with it.

Good talking to you again, 1SG

BUSTIN’ LOOSE

The Top 10 things I’d rather do than…

Situation:  Daughter asked me to take her bra shopping.

Answered by saying I’d rather…

10. Walk through Osama’s front door wearing a suicide vest

9. Go into a working house fire wearing a pair of tight bikini briefs ONLY

8. Work in front of the berm at a hot rifle range.

7. Tap dance on a landmine

6. Be the stuntman on the Mayhem commercials.

5. Breakdance on the autobahn

4. Be kicked in the nuts by all 32 starting punters in the NFL

3. Run face first into the spinning tail rotor of a Blackhawk.

2. Go sliding down a sliding board of nothing but double edged razor blades and land in a vat of rubbing ETOH.

1. Stand in the middle USASOC graduation ceremony and call Rangers, Airborne, and SF Soldiers “pussies”.

Yep…that about sums it up

USA EMS Conference part i

Here again, one of the many "part 1" posts I've made here...

So far it's been a great conference here in San Antonio.  I officially consider this my "train up" for EMS Expo in August, especially after having to jump few a few hoops just to get orders to go.


Arrived on Monday afternoon and visited the Alamo--hard to believe that I'm in the HOME of COMBAT MEDIC TRAINING and I have never visited the Alamo (or the Riverwalk) until Monday afternoon.  Although Durty Nelly's provided an evening of entertainment.


Tuesday officially started the conference out with some mandatory classes (I think the folks that put this on have never been to a REAL EMS conference). The only time we could go through the exhibit hall was during lunch and the breaks...but the whole sit and listen to blah blah blah was worth 6 CEUs.


Also found out that if we visit ALL the folks in the exhibit hall that we'd get 2 additional CEUs for the conference (that's 8 so far).  Finished that out today.


Today I went to only one class and finished out the exhibit hall.  I basically got a partial restock for my aid bag just by visiting the exhibitors (very jealous of one of my counterparts who got a CRIC kit--but then again I got a free pelican case yesterday).


Tomorrow I have a light class schedule as I am in full conference mode now.  I might make a trip to the "Tower of the Americas" just to scope it out.




This definitely is NOTHING LIKE EMS Today, FDIC, or (I hope) EMS Expo.